Thursday, February 10, 2011

My Great Romance

He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. He loves me not.

He really loves me.
Forever and throughout all of eternity.

And this is best kind of romance, the greatest love story ever told.
Where the Hero gives everything for the girl, who is held captive by the most evil villain in all of time, history and space.
There is no getting to know each other, or debate over 'is this the right one?'
There is no one else, no other champion or savior.
No one that can save me from sin. Or myself.

Only Him.
And no one else.

In return for all of me, He promises to take care of me, to bless and protect me. To never forsake me.
He will always listen, always understand, and never back away.
When it feels like my world is falling apart His arms are there, holding me up, His hand stroking my hair, and His strong but gentle voice reassures me that He has everything under control.
There is no one stronger, more tender, or all powerful.

No one judges me in this relationship, or think its weird that He goes everywhere I go.
No one questions my loyalty, or thinks that I love Him more than I do them. Because I do, and its okay.

And even though He is continually breaking my heart I don't feel betrayed.
In my brokenness there is healing, and my love for Him is multiplied.

We never grow tired of each other's company, or run out of things to say.
He writes amazing love letters, and I try to sing Him songs.
He paints me pictures, in the sunset, and I am blown away.

I have forgotten Him, stood Him up, left Him, ignored Him, betrayed Him, disobeyed Him, and yelled at Him.
He doesn't care.
He forgives me, fights for me, takes me back, protects me, pursues me, and never ever stops loving me.

If there ever was an unconditional love this is it.
If there ever was a perfect fairy tale, this is it.
If there ever was anyone more undeserving, I am her.

Song of the Captive Princess

Would You open up my eyes
And show me the light
Take me away from this place
Would You open up my eyes and show me the light
'Cause I cannot make it alone
I need You, I need You
I need you, yes I need You
To free me
-shawn mcdonald

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

whispers of violet.

Yawning, I stretch as much as I can in the driver's seat of my little grey car.
My eyes feel itchy and tired.
It had been a long day, made even longer by the numbing headache that has been my constant companion.
Watching the road, intent on getting home, where food and bed awaits me, my mind wanders. Thoughts from the day, and feelings of pity for myself were the main themes.
I happen to glance up, heading West, and my breath catches.
The color starts on the left, light peach mixes with a blushing pink, spreading across the sky to the orange center.
To the right whispers of violet, etched in clouds, feather across the sky. The purple hue blending to blue then back to violet again.
My fingers itch for my camera, or a paintbrush (obviously forgetting that they have never painted a decent picture). Every part of my being longing to capture the beauty that is in front of me.
I sigh. Overwhelmed by the delicate, but awe-inspiring grace of the sunset.
As the seconds tick by the sky changes, subtle but sure. The pink fades, the violet slowly disappears into the blueish black of night.
In less than 5 minutes I experienced one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen, and just like that it was gone.
Slipped away, to the other side of the world.
But, captured in my heart and memory.
The thing I kept pondering was the fact that the sunset happens everyday, just like the sun rises, and the stars 'come out'.
It is a constant.
And God made it beautiful.
Not only does He make it beautifully colorful, with light and shadows. But He makes it different every single time, no sunset is the same as any time the sun has set before it.
Every time the sun slips behind the horizon it displays a depth of creativity, and a passion for beauty.
God loves beauty. Even in things that seem not to matter.
I try to imagine this part of His nature, coupled with His power, and knowledge, His sense of justice and jealousy of anything or anyone that might take away from that.
It is difficult. I know that God is not some sissy, artistic type, that talks with a lisp and doesn't like to hurt trees.
He is strong, brave, righteous, holy, full of honor, worthy of reverence and fear, who in the old testament killed whole families for the indiscretion of one man.
He is kind, loving, merciful, full of grace, passionate, gentle, understanding, a painter of sunsets, grower of flowers, nurturing, who loves children and cares about little birds.
I don't know how He fits all of that together, how all of that exists in Him, but it does.
He is.
All of that. And so much more.
Anything I can try to say about Him falls so short.

My last thought, for this post, is;
If this is the God I serve, and I believe that it is, then my only response can be total and complete surrender.
The only appropriate worship and adoration being to spend my whole life knowing Him, falling more in love with Him, and abandoning everything in order to follow Him.

be abandoned, *to God*

Thursday, February 3, 2011

snow. snow. snow. snow!

Snowed in.
At first it was lovely.
Beautiful white scenery, time to rest and spend with family.
I had this this idea of getting things done that I have been putting off..........but, I only accomplished a few.
Oh well.
I have caught up on sleep, read, spent time with family, and stalked this amazing blog for hours.
Last night I caught a baking bug and made these scones;

Very easy to make, recipe here

I was quite pleased with the results. (as you can see)

No laughing. This is me; in all my natural glory hehe.
I'm trying to be more productive today, so far I've cleaned the bathrooms, hung up my clothes......I've had a thought about mopping the floors, but we'll see if I get that far :P

be free