Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Quiet Thoughts

I have not been having a regular quiet time, I have been reading my bible and praying. But actually taking the time to be quiet and think about different stuff hasn't really happened for a while. Well, last night I decided to just do it, so here are some thoughts that I came up with;

You are always hearing people say 'be your-self, be you', I even sign off 'Be Free'......
But that's not entirely the right thing, I don't want to be my-self because my 'Self' is wicked and perverse, not the qualities I want to be.
I want to be like Christ, that is my ultimate goal, to grow to be more like Him, to practice that everyday. So don't be your 'Self', be Jesus Christ who is in you. And 'Be Free' in Him, because He died to give us that freedom.

I was reading in Psalms and this verse really stood out to me;
Psalm 24:6
'This is the generation of those who seek Him, who seek Thy face.'

How powerful is that? Wow, I get chills every time I think about it.............
I want to make it happen, I want to see this generation seek Him. Think about how big a difference could be made if a whole generation was committed to seeking God.

I have been memorizing 2 Tim 2, and I have been thinking a lot about verse 4;
'No one engaged in warfare entangles him-self with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier.'
And at first I just thought, 'yeah, that makes sense, soldiers have to be one minded that's good'
Than I thought; 'wait, its talking about me. I have to be one minded, not wrapped up in all the drama and chaos of this life.....that is hard!'
'Cause so many times that is all I think about, what I'm focused on.....what I'm going to do the next day, what is going on in this person's life, how many problems I have, etc.
When those things should just be minor inconveniences, just tiny little road bumps. The Main focus should be on the 'War' between good and evil, God and Satan, a war for the very lives of all mankind. How could that be less important than who said what to who?
*sigh* To borrow the word of a good friend; that FRUSTRATES me!
What are we thinking? How does our world, our whole lives get shrunk down to these little mini soap opera's?

I titled this post quiet thoughts, but maybe it should be LOUD thoughts lol.
I try not to get discouraged by my lack of growth, but sometimes I look back at my almost 11 years of following Christ and think 'How far have I really come? What difference am I really making?'
All I can do is just keep trying, and trusting in God to catch me when I fall.

be free

1 Timothy 1:18-19
Timothy, my son, I give you this instruction in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by following them you may fight the good fight, holding on to faith and a good conscience. Some have rejected these and so have shipwrecked their faith.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008


I love looking forward to things....thinking about them, how much fun I'll have, what I'll wear etc.
I almost like that more than actually doing it. But right now I don't really have anything that is coming up, and I don't like it.
I need to work on contentment, accepting who I am and what I am doing, I think a lot of it is the fact that I'm less than two weeks away from turning 19, and still have NO clue what I'm gonna do this next year.
I definitely do not want to just sit at home, I want to be DO something, something that matters.
I was convicted last Sunday that I was facing every day with the mindset of just getting through it, doing what had to be done and getting it over with.
When I should be looking for ways to make EVERY day count for eternity, because that is the only thing that really matters, not just making it through the day.
Sometimes I feel like a worm or an animal that lives underground, just doing what it has to, to survive, never taking the time to come 'up' and see the beauty that is around them.
So my goal this week is to slow down, take a deep breath, and listen...........look............see what I've been missing. And just maybe I will learn something new, be a light, even feel some direction. Starting now....................................

be free

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me you heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
-Brandon Heath

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Character Week- Part Good

I was just re-reading my post from yesterday and realized how negative I sounded. Sorry about that :(
I am having an awesome time, I love working with kids, though I hadn't realized how much it took to be up on stage..........its hard work! I have a better appreciation for 'those' people now....
And the people I'm working with are amazing, everything is really going smoothly, and it should just get I AM going to make it through the next 2 days, we're going to finish strong and make this the BEST CHARACTER WEEK EVER!!!!!! :D lol.
Love you guys.
be free

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


Okay, so this week is Character Week......and even though it is only the third day I am already exhasted.
But I have three more days to go, please pray for me/us, that we will be strong and keep going!
Thanks, I'll try to write more later on.
be free

Monday, July 7, 2008

To Be or Not to Be

When I was little I used to dream about the day when I would be all grown-up, when I was out of school, had a job and my own car, and life was perfect..........
I am still waiting for that day to come, even though I have all of those things, somehow they have not brought me all the happiness I thought. Proving, once again, that happiness does not come from things.
In all that dreaming, imagining my grown-up life, I had no concept of all the pressures and responsibilities it would bring. And if I could go back and tell my-self just one thing, I would say, 'sweetie, its not as glamorous as it looks, you have to buy your own gas!'

Now I dream about the day when I have a plan, a direction for my life, what am I going to be when I grow up?
I have been putting off making any major decisions, thinking; 'ah, I have plenty of time'.
But now as fall draws nearer, and as my job comes to an end, I am left with the question; 'what am I going to be when I grow up?'
The answer? I have NO idea.........*sigh* I hate that, not knowing. I'm a planner, if I had my way I would have my whole life planned out complete with charts and lists. This not knowing makes my stomach hurt :(
I was up for an hour the other night, tossing and turning, my mind just going around and around what am I going to do what am I going to do what am I....well you get the point.
And after a whole hour I had the most brilliant thought I think I have ever ready?
It is NOT up to me, I have given my life to its His life, whatever I want or don't want doesn't really matter.
And you want to know another thing?
He ALREADY has a plan for me, I don't have to worry about anything, as long a I stay in the middle of God's will.
*Phew* I'll tell you something, it felt like a HUGE boulder just dropped off my shoulders, I have never felt immediate peace like that before, it was SO cool!!!
Of course, I do catch my self thinking about it, but every time I do I just stop, take a deep breath, and remind my self that it is not up to me. Not my responsibility.

be free

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,
plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11