Monday, September 27, 2010

This is my 112th post.

I meant to do a big 'This is my 100th post' thing......but I forgot.
So I'm doing this, which is only slightly lame.

I started blogging in 2007, almost 3 years ago.
Time is a funny thing because I feel like a completely different person, but it seems like I was that person just yesterday, or a few months ago. (I have never quite 'got' the just yesterday analogy)

This blog has become a friend, a confidant, a place to vent, and something that I can shape to whatever it is I am feeling, or thinking at the moment.

Sometimes I write because I have a story to tell. Other times because it has been a while and I want to make sure I still can. But many times I write because of how I feel after I see my thoughts laid out, in black and white. Sometimes they make sense, but many times they do not. Still, it gives me a measure of peace and contentment, like once the issues are laid out they stop pounding my brain.

I am looking forward to the next 3 years. I have no idea where they will take me, or if I will still be writing on here.
But there are two things I do know;
1) God is always with me.
2) I will never quit writing, I may stop for a while, but it will always be something I love and want to learn more about.

I hope you have you something that you love to do, that helps you focus and realize what really matters. If not, try something. You never know what you might be missing. (my 'self-help' advice for the week)

be free

Thursday, September 9, 2010

journey to nowhere.

My future stretches out before me like a long, deserted road.
From where I stand it looks like one huge, straight, blank, journey to nowhere.

The reality that I fail to remember is that life is not a straight shot. It is not planned out from beginning to end. Every stop along the way is not mapped out, and there is no tour guide.
My 'long deserted road' is actually a mirage.
And in it's place is this promise; 'I know the plans I have for you. Plans to proper you, not to harm you. Plans to give you a future and a hope.
This verse is sometimes overused (if that is possible), especially to someone my age.
But this is so powerful, and incredibly hard to understand.
That God, all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving, GOD.......has a plan for me. And the this plan is a good plan, the best plan really. The most difficult thing to understand is that even through all of the bad, stupid, complicated, hard, painful, evil, heartbreaking stuff in life; I always have hope, and a future, though Jesus Christ.
How that works I have no idea.
Maybe we have a different idea of 'hope' then God, sometimes things look hopeless.
But, I do know that God loves And does want what is best for me.

The BEST news is that this (life) is not real. It is just a vapor, a blip on a radar screen, not the dates on your tombstone, but the dash in between.
And I have a feeling that in Heaven, HOPE will fade into a PEACE, encompassed with LOVE.

Some people dwell in the past, others live for the future, I want to impact the present.
To 'Be Present' is a powerful thing.
To give all of your attention and focus on what you're doing at this moment is hard.
There are so many other things going on. Things to plan for, worry about, or remember.
Being 'Present' is, in a way, a gift to the people around you.
Jesus wasn't all about where He had been or where He was going, His main focus was on who was right there, what He needed to say in that moment.
I want to be like that.