Thursday, February 12, 2009

Hope & Sanity




Love, love, love.

I have heard these words over and over, they seem etched in my memory. They are such simple words, only four and five letters. Yet the message they carry is so complicated and complex. Not to mention hard to live out.

It scares me sometimes how quick my mood can change, and how many different emotions I can experience in a short amount of time. To be so happy and content one day, than be depressed and lonely the next.

I have been trying to show love lately, and it seems like God is giving me every opportunity to do so. Seriously, these last few weeks have been challenging and there have been so many times that I have wanted to say forget this. But today I have really seen a difference in my attitude and just my thoughts.

Have you ever surprised yourself with the things that you think? I do, all the time. I think things that I would never, ever say out loud. Some of them are funny, or just not the right time. But others are just wrong, it is scary.

God loves me. I mean really loves me. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. It sickens me how I ignore Him, and act like He is less important then other things in my life. It is like having a fiance or husband and him not calling you or wanting to spend time with you. That would be horrible, and that is how I treat God.

I am so blessed, especially in my family and friends. I do not know what I would do or who I would be without them. Having the right friends are so crucial to how you act and your whole world view.

I hope this makes some sense, and it is not some jumbled emotional mess :P.

be free

Does anybody care and do you even see
Look past my skin until you see me
Do you even know what I'm going through
I need to talk to someone can I talk to you
Does anybody care and do you even see
I'm running out of hope and sanity
Do you even know what I'm going through
I'm having a hard time facing the truth
Does anybody care
Hold on, hold on, someone will find you
Hold on, hold on, somebody loves you
Hold on, hold on, your not drowning this time
Hold on, hold on, look for the searchlights
-Abandon, Hold On