Wednesday, May 2, 2012

'Is That It?' vs. 'What next?'

'Today we are getting things done.'

Growing up I dreaded these words. It meant a day of work. Of doing more than the usual chores and school. My mom or dad would give me a job, then expect me to come back when I was finished for another job.
At first I didn't mind, getting things done was a natural part of my first born personality. But after a few hours the novelty and sense of accomplishment would wear off; to be replaced with tiredness, and a feeling of 'What more do you want from me??'
I was smart enough to not show this attitude outright, I was careful to not complain outright, keeping my thoughts to myself, while still obeying outwardly.
Yet, I had my own way of rebelling. Coming back to my mom I would say 'Is that it?'
Subtle, I know. Implying that I was done, and 'Is there anything else that you could possible want from me??'
As I got older God started working in my heart, changing it to be a servant's heart.
I started saying 'What next?' instead of 'Is that it?' Notice the difference? From 'I'm done serving you', to 'I'm here to help you, for as long as you want.'

All of this is the preface to what I wanted to share with you about what God is doing in my heart at the moment.

A few days ago, in the Sunday morning worship, through a great sermon God spoke to me. Well, more like he convicted me so strongly that it felt like a ton of bricks landing on my heart.
He showed me that I have been showing the very same attitude that I used to show to my parents, toward him - in the way that I respond to serving him.
In the times when people talk about serving God, or I am asked to do something else, or even when I think that God is asking me to serve him in a certain way; my mind immediately goes to all of the things that I am already doing. Almost like an excuse; 'Look at all of the things I am already doing for God, surely he couldn't be asking for anything MORE.'

Where and when did I start thinking of serving God as a chore, or even as favor for him. As if my life didn't belong to God already, and it is me going over and beyond to do a few good things twice a week.
That doesn't even make sense!
When I gave my life to Christ I surrendered any right to have a say over what I do with my life.

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.
-Romans 12:1

More than that, anything God does ask of me is not a drudgery, I have the honor of obeying him. He chooses to use ME, God doesn't need me to help him - I have the privilege of being a part of his mission.

This was a continuation of what God was already showing me through this short video by Francis Chan. Ouch, ouch, and double ouch. I do get so caught up in this 'life', not even thinking about what would matter for eternity.

Have a great week, mine is packed - but what else is new? :)

be free