My heart is twisting inside my chest.
My mind struggles to find the words that will make it all okay.
My soul longs for the Truth to be revealed.
My spirit prays, begging that Satan will not have any more influence.
Life seems terribly mundane, while the days go by, each with things to do and people to see.
All of that can change with one conversation, one situation, and life suddenly seems incredibly fragile, ready to shatter at a moments notice.
It may seem like I am talking about myself, that something tragic has happened in my own little box.
But, this is a false illusion.
Because there is no box.
There is a world full of people; beautiful, valuable, amazing people who need what I can give them. I have a gift, a message, a good news to tell anyone who will listen.
This good news is the Gospel.
Trading sorrow for joy. Sin for righteousness. Being forgotten to incredibly had. Giving all control for all-encompassing peace.
Jesus came, the Son of God, was perfect, died for the world, came back to life, went to prepare a place, left us to tell other people.
The most beautiful, and most hard thing is; it doesn't stop there.
Just 'telling' someone is not enough. How are they supposed to know what to do next? Does life get easier, with Jesus?
I asked this question to a 12 year old girl today, to which she replied; 'No! It doesn't get easier, its harder! Its hard being good.'
I like her honesty.
This next step is Discipleship, and it is one of the hardest (if not the hardest) things that I have ever done.
And perhaps the part that I struggle with the most is how much I care about these girls.
I love them, so much that the thought of them hurting or being led astray makes me physically ill.
This should give me the motivation to do anything and everything possible to help them grow closer to God, and encourage them in their daily struggles.
Yet, this is something that I am still trying to figure out. How to do this practically in my own life.
I need the mindset that nothing is too much, and have the willingness to follow the Holy Spirit in anything.
There is a helplessness in knowing that something is wrong, and having no idea what to do to fix it.
Prayer is the most powerful weapon I have, why is it often a last resort?
This must change.
I must change.
People are depending on me to show them Christ.
"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in Heaven." Matt 5:16