Friday, April 24, 2009

And So It Begins.......

.....The Absolute Craziness and Mayhem.
and I mean that in the fondest way, I am really excited about all the conferences coming up, I am just a little overwhelmed. But I like being busy, the tired part..not so much. I am already tired and today was only the first setup day *sheesh*.

So this was all to say that I probably will not post for a while, not that I do all the time anyway.....but this time I will have an excuse lol. Pray for me, I really want to be used by God for great things.

be free
~noel~

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

letting mySELF go....

Have you ever felt like you have been stumbling around in the dark for a long time......
Then, all at once, everything comes into focus. You can see things so clearly, things you didn't really want to see. I feel like that, only the things I see I don't know how to change........

I can see how really screwed up I am....all of these things that I have been hearing about for years, things my parents, siblings, and friends have said...and now I can see them ALL......and its really bad.

Whats worse is I don't know how to change, I have been this way so long that I don't know if I CAN change. My heart keeps telling me that I don't have to do this alone, and that I CAN change through the blood of Christ, but my mind is having trouble believing this.

I will not give up though, I am determined to figure this out and surrender my stupid pride and self-righteousness.

be free
~noel~

P.S. This is a song I just started listening to, and it has really encouraged me. I just listen to it over and over, telling myself that this is TRUTH, that no matter what is happening in my life God IS my JOY!!!!

And He set me on fire, and I am burning alive.
With His breath in my lungs I am coming undone.
And he set me on fire and I am burning alive.
With his breath in my lungs I am coming undone.
And I cannot hold it in Remain composed.
Love's taken over me So I propose the letting myself go.
I am letting myself go.

You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.

And He set me on fire, and I am burning alive.
With His breath in my lungs I am coming undone.
And He set me on fire, and I am burning alive.
With His breath in my lungs I am coming undone.
And I cannot hold it in and remain composed.
Love's taken over me and so I propose the letting myself go.
I am letting myself go.

You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy

I need to catch my breath, I need to.
I need to catch my breath, give me a moment now.

You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.

I'm laughing so hard
And I'm laughing so hard
And I'm laughing so hard

-You Are My Joy, by David Crowder