Thursday, January 20, 2011

Of Change and Owls.

To be honest the thought of a 'new year' scares me.
Though, it is not much different than 2010.
The thing I am actually afraid of is change.
I. Do. Not. Like. Change.

Which might be a problem at this point in my life, because it feels like EVERYTHING is changing.
Many times I have the feeling that my whole life is up in the air, bouncing around, not knowing when something is going to fall into place.
Or like I am in a room with doors all around me and I keep trying to find one that fits the key I have, but I can't.
I don't even know if I have the right key, or am in the correct room.

To use the words of a sweet girl I know, 'I have a problem.' Or, should I say, another problem.
You see I have this personality trait, of wanting to make everyone happy.
Now, this is different than caring about what people think of me, because to be honest I really do not. But I do want the people I love and respect to be happy, with me.
The problem is, of course, is that I can NEVER make everyone happy.
It just isn't possible.
I also do not like to disappoint people. I have always been a 'good girl', I follow the rules, am responsible, and do what is expected of me.
But lately it seems as though it is becoming harder and harder to do what is expected of me, or what people think I should do.
Everyone has an opinion, or a piece of advice to share.
I can not listen to everyone.

I did apply for a job yesterday.
I, Mirage Noel Boyd, filled out my very first job application. It was scary. I almost wanted to snatch it back out of the lady's hands. . . . . . . What if they don't call me? Or I get an interview, and I'm not hired? No one likes rejection, and I feel almost vulnerable right now.

The next 2 months are going to be crazy busy with basketball, mission day, sunday school, fish club, and a job (hopefully).
I suspect that the rest of my life will be just as busy. (Heaven sounds good right about now)

I am hopefully getting a new phone soon, and I picked out a cover today, it made me laugh;
I think its cute :)

Well...............That is about all I have to say.
I am sure that in the next 20 minutes I will have 37 other thoughts race through my brain, but I'll deal with that later hehe.

be free (hoooo, hoooo)

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