Thursday, November 6, 2008


Sorry it has been so long, I really have been incredibly busy. Also, because of this paragraph job, by the time I get done with those I am tired of writing.
Some people have been on me about posting so I am, hope your happy :p

My thoughts have felt all jumbled up lately, which is another reason I have not posted. I usually have been thinking about something and feel like I have something to share. That has not been the case, I feel like I am being pulled a thousand diffent ways. I never think about the same thing twice. I have a hard enough time reading the bible and praying, much less 'being still' and listening for God's voice. I have so much going on, and so many problems I find myself worrying about over and over again. I have been thinking what is peace? Real peace, not just laying down at night and forcing myself to pray and give it all to God.
Does God give me peace? Or does it have something to do with me? Do I just need to accept it, or am I doing something that is preventing me from experienceing peace?
I can feel myself getting frustrated and sad thinking about this. What am I supposed to do? I want to do something. I know that God is with me, I can feel His presence, but I also feel like I have a wall of ice around my heart. That this wall is preventing me from feeling anything at all, I am just numb. Sometimes I think there is something to that whole bipolar thing, I swing from one emotion to the other so fast I am scaring myself.
The weird thing is I think that God is causing me to feel this way on purpose. I am supposed to learn something from this. What is the question. I honestly do not see what it is.
I keep hearing one word;


Not an easy thing for me, I will be the first to admit that I am a control freak. Not in a super obsessive way, but I definitly like to control the things I do and feel.

Please pray that I will just place everything at the foot of the cross, and remember that I do not have to go through things alone. I also know that God never gives us more then we can handle.

Be Free

He is my Light and my Salvation
Whom have I to fear
In His secret place I'll hide and pray
That I might hear a simple word

O, how I would have despaired
If You had not come found me there
I can lean against Your throne and find my Peace
Find my Peace

And when my enemies draw near
I pray that they will findCheck Spelling
That I'm protected and secure
All tempests He will bind with a mighty word

O, how I would have despaired
If You had not come found me there
I can lean against Your throne and find my Peace
Find my Peace

He is my Light and my Salvation whom have I to fear?

Peace by Jennifer Knapp


Jonathan said...

That's crazy cause I didn't even read this until I wrote mine...

Nan said...

Don't get discouraged, Noel, remember you have to go through the valleys before you get to the mountain top!! I will be praying for you :)

DOT (Maria) said...

I am feeling some of the same things lately. I will keep you in my prayers.