Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Another Year

Time flies by so fast, I know you hear that a lot, but it really does. As I celebrated my birthday yesterday, I looked back over the last year and it really felt like time was actually flying past me. Where did it go? Our whole lives revolve around time, I wish I could count how many times a day I look at a clock, (that is my fav thing about vacation, I really try not to look at a clock at all, but that is another story). I keep saying that I want to slow down and take a breath, but you can't slow time it is going by at the same speed, one second at a time.
I wouldn't go back, but as I get older I realize that I'm not to crazy about going forward either. I want to learn to just embrace each moment as it comes, to always be content no matter where I am at. I want to be mature and grown-up, but not stuffy or stiff. I want to be fun to be around, but at the same time be an example. To project an air of sophistication without seeming stuck-up :). To be able to speak the truth in love. To look my age....well maybe that is not as important lol.
___________________________

Moving on, I am enjoying life, I really am! I love my family & I have incredible friends. I do have a job........for the time being, and I have all my teeth lol (just thought of something randomly lol)
Until someone asks me what I'm going to do.............................AH! If someone asks me that one more time I'll, I'll, I'll ............................prolly do nothing, but I want to SCREAM!!!!!!!!! :-(
I DON'T KNOW, OKAY? Just leave me alone.
The other day I thought about every time someone asked me that saying; "Mooching off my parents, and trying to catch a man."
That ought to shut them up, huh? I really want to say it, just to see the reaction.
I really envy people who seem to have their lives all planned, college, sports, a good job.....even marriage. But I don't know what I want, and more importantly I don't know what God wants.
That is another thing that frustrates me; I pray all the time that God would show me His will, I've been having a quiet time, reading my bible, and memorizing scripture. Still nothing, zilch, nada. So I'm waiting...............................I hate waiting.
Really hate it.

be free
~noel~

Isaiah 26:8
Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.

Psalm 27:14
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
Psalm 38:15
I wait for you, O LORD; you will answer, O Lord my God.
Psalm 130:5
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.

P.S.
I guess God knew we were going to do a lot of waiting :)


5 comments:

Whitney said...

hey that is so weird I am experiencing the exact same thing, I am glad I'm not in this alone. I was feeling pretty depressed yesterday, pray for me. love ya

R.Nilson said...

"Mooching off my parents, and trying to catch a man." I like that! maybe I'll try it sometime...

I know what you mean! What I find annoying is that they often ask WHY I don't know what I want to do. why?! because I just don't know!

Morgan Ruckel said...

Oh my word. I am feeling almost the same way about my future. I have plans but I am not sure if they will happen. I will be praying for both of you guys. Pray for me. Morgan

Lauren A. W. said...

" really envy people who seem to have their lives all planned, college, sports, a good job.....even marriage. But I don't know what I want, and more importantly I don't know what God wants."

I understand. I know that I may fit the catagory of one of those people right now but it should bring you comfort that only about 1 year ago I was feeling just what you were. Keep wanting what God wants with all your heart and He will bless your socks off! It's True! ;)

Lauren said...

Yup, ditto, uh-huh. I feel the same way!! I'm trying to work on the not-envying thing, but it's so hard! *sigh*
You're not alone, I'll be praying for ya!