Monday, August 23, 2010

My Coffin

'To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it careful round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in the casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable...... The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers of love is Hell.' C.S. Lewis

I have lived for 21 years ashamed of my vulnerability, trying to keep my heart locked up.
Partly because this is natural, and partly because that is what I thought I was supposed to do, what I had been taught to do. To take my heart and keep it safe, sharing it with no one, keeping all emotions at bay.
This made me aloof, seemingly uncaring, insensitive, having no compassion, prideful, and safe in my 'coffin of selfishness'.
Is this life?? Keeping anyone and anything out that might hurt me?
I don't think so.
Reading Bible stories I can't find many hero's or heroine's who did this. All of the Godly men and women that I look up to are incredibly vulnerable, giving everything to minister to just one person. Or thousands.
And isn't Jesus the very epitome of vulnerability? I mean the God-man Himself had no where to even lay His head! No home, His family didn't believe in Him, the very men that should have known that He was the Savior brought about His death, He gave of Himself to everyone, and He made the greatest sacrifice that anyone has ever made; He suffered, separated Himself from His very own Father, and died a shameful death. Jesus didn't even know the meaning of the word HIDE. He hid nothing. He gave everything. And He is asking me to do the same.
He is asking you to do the same.

1 comment:

Peter said...

Exactly what I need to do. Ha. Your blog answered your question that I turned back on you.