That is where I have been. It sounds much better than 'way too busy to do anything but the most basic things and survive until a time when I can catch my breath and start doing things like this again.' See what I mean?
Even now, as I am taking the time to do this, I see a huge pile of clothes to put up, invitations to finish, papers to go through, and a room to clean.
Such is life. And right now my life consists of wedding plans, house remodel, and talking about Jesus to anyone I can find. Oh, and a wonderful fiancé, but that goes with the wedding part.
Did I just say wedding?? I did, didn't I? I am getting married. In a little over a month. It feels completely unreal..... Until I see the dress hanging in my closet, the invitations being sent out, and a house that will soon be mine.
What an overwhelming sense of 'this cannot be happening to me', coupled with, 'how am I so blessed?'
If you have a moment pray for me, I know that is selfish in a way, but I could use God's peace and wisdom right now. I have no idea what I am doing :) its great!
be free
~noel
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
the sirens call
There is one thing that we all have in common.
No matter where we live or what we do.
An emotion that everyone has experienced, whether or not they have always been loved, or had their heart broken.
A period in time that for a split second there is unity in something that actually causes the opposite of unity.
Alone.
Abandoned.
Outcast.
Ostracized.
But mostly alone.
Everyone thinks it.
Maybe at home, school, work, even with friends.
You think that you are the only one going through something, or that feels something, or thinks something.
Your thoughts start with;
I am they only one....
No one has ever....
No one understands....
Why am I.....
The very thing that we all have in common makes us feel alone.
Ironic.
God has made some pretty hefty promises about this.
Promises that would be impossible for anyone else to keep.
But, God can. He WILL never leave me. He will never forsake me. He will ALWAYS work things out for my own good.
Fact; I am never alone.
We had a very interesting discussion in class tonight, it was really good.
And it sparked this train of thought, that led to a conclusion that I have never thought of before.....
We were talking about our sin nature, and why God doesn't take it away when He saves us?
It would be so much easier if there was not that constant struggle every single day between what is right and what is wrong. If I was not constantly battling my flesh, if I automatically chose the right response. Without even thinking.
God saved me, from my sins, but I think that He saves me every day from my FLESH. Which might be where the whole 'work out your salvation with fear and trembling' thing might come in.......
If God was to take away that battle, would it be a cop out? Does God love me too much to give me the easy way? Would I feel as close to God if I didn't have to work for it? And do things that I am just given ever mean as much as the things that take effort?
(On a complete side note; From God's perspective; what would be the purpose of creating something that didn't need you? That didn't require your involvement every day on a consistent basis? Isn't that the whole reason of creation?)
My conclusion (so far) is this; I (we) choose to sin, it only makes sense that we have to CHOOSE to be holy.
That is just.
And there is no excuse, everyone chooses to sin, no matter who they are. We even keep choosing wrong AFTER we know the Truth.
How disgusting is that?
The truth is, if I choose to look at it this way (wow, there is that word again, choose), every struggle is an opportunity to love God. To serve Him. By making that right choice, and using the Holy Spirit's power to make it through the obstacles.
Another fact; there IS evil in the world, nothing can change that. Again, we made that choice.
God, in His mercy, provides us with everything we need to defeat it. Starting, and ending, with ourselves.
Phew.
I am all-theology-ed out.
That is quite a bit of deep thinking for so late :)
Have a blessed week, give evil a swift kick in the pants from me.
~noel
No matter where we live or what we do.
An emotion that everyone has experienced, whether or not they have always been loved, or had their heart broken.
A period in time that for a split second there is unity in something that actually causes the opposite of unity.
Alone.
Abandoned.
Outcast.
Ostracized.
But mostly alone.
Everyone thinks it.
Maybe at home, school, work, even with friends.
You think that you are the only one going through something, or that feels something, or thinks something.
Your thoughts start with;
I am they only one....
No one has ever....
No one understands....
Why am I.....
The very thing that we all have in common makes us feel alone.
Ironic.
God has made some pretty hefty promises about this.
Promises that would be impossible for anyone else to keep.
But, God can. He WILL never leave me. He will never forsake me. He will ALWAYS work things out for my own good.
Fact; I am never alone.
We had a very interesting discussion in class tonight, it was really good.
And it sparked this train of thought, that led to a conclusion that I have never thought of before.....
We were talking about our sin nature, and why God doesn't take it away when He saves us?
It would be so much easier if there was not that constant struggle every single day between what is right and what is wrong. If I was not constantly battling my flesh, if I automatically chose the right response. Without even thinking.
God saved me, from my sins, but I think that He saves me every day from my FLESH. Which might be where the whole 'work out your salvation with fear and trembling' thing might come in.......
If God was to take away that battle, would it be a cop out? Does God love me too much to give me the easy way? Would I feel as close to God if I didn't have to work for it? And do things that I am just given ever mean as much as the things that take effort?
(On a complete side note; From God's perspective; what would be the purpose of creating something that didn't need you? That didn't require your involvement every day on a consistent basis? Isn't that the whole reason of creation?)
My conclusion (so far) is this; I (we) choose to sin, it only makes sense that we have to CHOOSE to be holy.
That is just.
And there is no excuse, everyone chooses to sin, no matter who they are. We even keep choosing wrong AFTER we know the Truth.
How disgusting is that?
The truth is, if I choose to look at it this way (wow, there is that word again, choose), every struggle is an opportunity to love God. To serve Him. By making that right choice, and using the Holy Spirit's power to make it through the obstacles.
Another fact; there IS evil in the world, nothing can change that. Again, we made that choice.
God, in His mercy, provides us with everything we need to defeat it. Starting, and ending, with ourselves.
Phew.
I am all-theology-ed out.
That is quite a bit of deep thinking for so late :)
Have a blessed week, give evil a swift kick in the pants from me.
~noel
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Penny for Your Thoughts
My thoughts are worth more than that, just in the fact that I have so many.
Though I think that they (thoughts) are often like beauty, their value is attached by the individual, not as a collective whole. Some people's thoughts are more important to me than others, and I'm sure it works the other way around as well.
Many of my thoughts have generated out of the last few weeks, and what I have discovered is that a change of routine does much to change how or what I think about.
I love my routine, I think most people do. They have a certain way of doing things, in a certain order. Sure, we all like a little adventure, or surprise, but only a little, when we expect it.
My routine is drastically changed from what it was, say 4 months ago. I got a job; the biggest thing. It also feels like God is changing my whole paradigm, or world view. The priorities that I used to have are changing, the things I felt so strongly called to are shifting. And not even anything big being put in their place, just a feeling of wait. Be cautious, step back, let other people do that.
I am not really a wait, step back, let other people do that kind of girl.
Maybe that is why this is happening.........Silly I know.
Praying for the grace to accept changes, because I know the reason of the hope that I have within me.
be free
~noel
Though I think that they (thoughts) are often like beauty, their value is attached by the individual, not as a collective whole. Some people's thoughts are more important to me than others, and I'm sure it works the other way around as well.
Many of my thoughts have generated out of the last few weeks, and what I have discovered is that a change of routine does much to change how or what I think about.
I love my routine, I think most people do. They have a certain way of doing things, in a certain order. Sure, we all like a little adventure, or surprise, but only a little, when we expect it.
My routine is drastically changed from what it was, say 4 months ago. I got a job; the biggest thing. It also feels like God is changing my whole paradigm, or world view. The priorities that I used to have are changing, the things I felt so strongly called to are shifting. And not even anything big being put in their place, just a feeling of wait. Be cautious, step back, let other people do that.
I am not really a wait, step back, let other people do that kind of girl.
Maybe that is why this is happening.........Silly I know.
Praying for the grace to accept changes, because I know the reason of the hope that I have within me.
be free
~noel
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Life is not Fair.
Injustice.
The very word makes my backbone stiffen.
I realize that life is not fair, I have heard that my whole life.
But when I see people treating other people in a way that is not right it makes me angry, and sad.
Partiality is one part of this. The definition of partiality is: Unfair bias in favor of one thing or person compared with another; favoritism.
I have seen this more and more lately, and I don't know what to do.
Do I address it? Ignore it? Hope it goes away? CAN I do anything? Change anything? Is it my place? Do people even realize they are showing partiality?
Some of the people that I see who are doing this are not meaning to. They are not purposely excluding people, but it is happening none the less.
It has been so encouraging to see the change in focus, in my own heart and other, off of ourselves and to the lost and seeking them out.
The danger in this is getting so focused on the mission that you forget the people.
The body of Christ, your brothers and sisters who are just as important. We are called to build each other up, encourage each other, and watch out for everyone.
The body of Christ, your brothers and sisters who are just as important. We are called to build each other up, encourage each other, and watch out for everyone.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
- 1 John 4:7-12
- 1 John 4:7-12
In closing; (and on a lighter note) I found this picture as I was searching for the definition of partiality on Google, I happened to push the images and this is what came up. Enjoy :)
Be free, and love one another!
~noel
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
tears are falling. hearts are breaking.
How we need to hear from God.
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the world.
What I know seems very small compared to all of the fear, doubt, and confusion that surrounds me.
So many people are lost.
broken.
needy.
empty.
poor.
starving.
hopeless.
"For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked." Revelations 3:17
This, to me, accurately describes many of the attitudes that are popular in our culture.
The superman complex.
I don't need you, I don't need anyone, or anything, I can take care of myself.
All lies.
We desperately need a Savior.
I get so caught up the mundane. In the the everyday, and even in the 'church'.
When, in reality, its really quite simple. I need Jesus. So does everyone else. Its my job to tell them, and live my life in such a way that I am a living testimony to the love and power of God.
In closing I will say that I realize that it has been two full months since I posted, and yes, I am ashamed of myself. I will TRY to do better, no promises haha.
be free, live LOUD
~noel
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the world.
What I know seems very small compared to all of the fear, doubt, and confusion that surrounds me.
So many people are lost.
broken.
needy.
empty.
poor.
starving.
hopeless.
"For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked." Revelations 3:17
This, to me, accurately describes many of the attitudes that are popular in our culture.
The superman complex.
I don't need you, I don't need anyone, or anything, I can take care of myself.
All lies.
We desperately need a Savior.
I get so caught up the mundane. In the the everyday, and even in the 'church'.
When, in reality, its really quite simple. I need Jesus. So does everyone else. Its my job to tell them, and live my life in such a way that I am a living testimony to the love and power of God.
In closing I will say that I realize that it has been two full months since I posted, and yes, I am ashamed of myself. I will TRY to do better, no promises haha.
be free, live LOUD
~noel
Thursday, March 10, 2011
order; the balm of my life
Chaos; turns me into a nervous, raging, stressed out shell of myself.
I can not emphasize how important order is to me.
Some people have called me a neat freak, or OCD (which really should be CDO)
I don't care about the label, I'm not a jar of pickles.
I am just a girl who likes things to have a place and be there, the last part is especially important.
Have I mentioned lately that God has a sense of humor?
He put me, the neat freak, in a family of 7 boys. Took away my sisters, made my mom incapacitated til May, and those 7 brothers have no brains.
I walk through the house and instantly I feel my shoulders tense. The chaos that surrounds me is depressing.
Sure, I can do something about it, but it only last for an hour or so.
Ha. Funny one.
No solution is presenting itself to me at the present moment.
I will be away from home more starting next week, but that will make it worse, not better.
So, I sit here. With my glass of lemonade, and my computer. Wishing for a fairy, or a bomb. Either would work.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
life ripples
Changes.
In schedules, relationships, habits, thoughts, ect.
I feel like my life can be separated into stages.
The child stage.
Tween stage.
Young adult stage.
And the 'Now stage'.
I am moving from the young adult stage to the next. Whatever it might be called.
And all of the change that is involved in that.
One of the hardest things for me is feeling like the exact same person while everything around me seems different.
In my own my mind I am not 'ready', whatever that means exactly. Like I should be able to choose what changes I want and when.
Ha.
I don't even want that, when I think about it.
Too much responsibility and pressure. *shudder*
I have always been grateful for having been born a girl. God knew what He was doing :)
be free
~noel
In schedules, relationships, habits, thoughts, ect.
I feel like my life can be separated into stages.
The child stage.
Tween stage.
Young adult stage.
And the 'Now stage'.
I am moving from the young adult stage to the next. Whatever it might be called.
And all of the change that is involved in that.
One of the hardest things for me is feeling like the exact same person while everything around me seems different.
In my own my mind I am not 'ready', whatever that means exactly. Like I should be able to choose what changes I want and when.
Ha.
I don't even want that, when I think about it.
Too much responsibility and pressure. *shudder*
I have always been grateful for having been born a girl. God knew what He was doing :)
be free
~noel
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