Life is not Fair.

Injustice.

The very word makes my backbone stiffen.

I realize that life is not fair, I have heard that my whole life.

But when I see people treating other people in a way that is not right it makes me angry, and sad.

Partiality is one part of this. The definition of partiality is: Unfair bias in favor of one thing or person compared with another; favoritism. 

I have seen this more and more lately, and I don't know what to do.

Do I address it? Ignore it? Hope it goes away? CAN I do anything? Change anything? Is it my place? Do people even realize they are showing partiality? 

Some of the people that I see who are doing this are not meaning to. They are not purposely excluding people, but it is happening none the less.

It has been so encouraging to see the change in focus, in my own heart and other, off of ourselves and to the lost and seeking them out.

The danger in this is getting so focused on the mission that you forget the people.
The body of Christ, your brothers and sisters who are just as important. We are called to build each other up, encourage each other, and watch out for everyone.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
- 1 John 4:7-12

In closing; (and on a lighter note) I found this picture as I was searching for the definition of partiality on Google, I happened to push the images and this is what came up. Enjoy :)

Be free, and love one another!

~noel

tears are falling. hearts are breaking.

How we need to hear from God.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the world.

What I know seems very small compared to all of the fear, doubt, and confusion that surrounds me.
So many people are lost.
broken.
needy.
empty.
poor.
starving.
hopeless.

"For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked." Revelations 3:17


This, to me, accurately describes many of the attitudes that are popular in our culture.
The superman complex.
I don't need you, I don't need anyone, or anything, I can take care of myself.
All lies.
We desperately need a Savior.
I get so caught up the mundane. In the the everyday, and even in the 'church'.
When, in reality, its really quite simple. I need Jesus. So does everyone else. Its my job to tell them, and live my life in such a way that I am a living testimony to the love and power of God.

In closing I will say that I realize that it has been two full months since I posted, and yes, I am ashamed of myself. I will TRY to do better, no promises haha.

be free, live LOUD
~noel

order; the balm of my life

Chaos; turns me into a nervous, raging, stressed out shell of myself.

I can not emphasize how important order is to me.

Some people have called me a neat freak, or OCD (which really should be CDO)

I don't care about the label, I'm not a jar of pickles.

I am just a girl who likes things to have a place and be there, the last part is especially important.

Have I mentioned lately that God has a sense of humor?

He put me, the neat freak, in a family of 7 boys. Took away my sisters, made my mom incapacitated til May, and those 7 brothers have no brains.

I walk through the house and instantly I feel my shoulders tense. The chaos that surrounds me is depressing. 

Sure, I can do something about it, but it only last for an hour or so.

Ha. Funny one.

No solution is presenting itself to me at the present moment.

I will be away from home more starting next week, but that will make it worse, not better.

So, I sit here. With my glass of lemonade, and my computer. Wishing for a fairy, or a bomb. Either would work.

life ripples

Changes.

In schedules, relationships, habits, thoughts, ect.
I feel like my life can be separated into stages.
The child stage.
Tween stage.
Young adult stage.
And the 'Now stage'.

I am moving from the young adult stage to the next. Whatever it might be called.
And all of the change that is involved in that.
One of the hardest things for me is feeling like the exact same person while everything around me seems different.
In my own my mind I am not 'ready', whatever that means exactly. Like I should be able to choose what changes I want and when.
Ha.
I don't even want that, when I think about it.
Too much responsibility and pressure. *shudder*

I have always been grateful for having been born a girl. God knew what He was doing :)

be free
~noel

My Great Romance

He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. He loves me not.

He really loves me.
Forever and throughout all of eternity.

And this is best kind of romance, the greatest love story ever told.
Where the Hero gives everything for the girl, who is held captive by the most evil villain in all of time, history and space.
There is no getting to know each other, or debate over 'is this the right one?'
There is no one else, no other champion or savior.
No one that can save me from sin. Or myself.

Only Him.
And no one else.

In return for all of me, He promises to take care of me, to bless and protect me. To never forsake me.
He will always listen, always understand, and never back away.
When it feels like my world is falling apart His arms are there, holding me up, His hand stroking my hair, and His strong but gentle voice reassures me that He has everything under control.
There is no one stronger, more tender, or all powerful.

No one judges me in this relationship, or think its weird that He goes everywhere I go.
No one questions my loyalty, or thinks that I love Him more than I do them. Because I do, and its okay.

And even though He is continually breaking my heart I don't feel betrayed.
In my brokenness there is healing, and my love for Him is multiplied.

We never grow tired of each other's company, or run out of things to say.
He writes amazing love letters, and I try to sing Him songs.
He paints me pictures, in the sunset, and I am blown away.

I have forgotten Him, stood Him up, left Him, ignored Him, betrayed Him, disobeyed Him, and yelled at Him.
He doesn't care.
He forgives me, fights for me, takes me back, protects me, pursues me, and never ever stops loving me.

If there ever was an unconditional love this is it.
If there ever was a perfect fairy tale, this is it.
If there ever was anyone more undeserving, I am her.


Song of the Captive Princess


Would You open up my eyes
And show me the light
Take me away from this place
Would You open up my eyes and show me the light
'Cause I cannot make it alone
I need You, I need You
I need you, yes I need You
To free me
-shawn mcdonald

whispers of violet.

Yawning, I stretch as much as I can in the driver's seat of my little grey car.
My eyes feel itchy and tired.
It had been a long day, made even longer by the numbing headache that has been my constant companion.
Watching the road, intent on getting home, where food and bed awaits me, my mind wanders. Thoughts from the day, and feelings of pity for myself were the main themes.
I happen to glance up, heading West, and my breath catches.
The color starts on the left, light peach mixes with a blushing pink, spreading across the sky to the orange center.
To the right whispers of violet, etched in clouds, feather across the sky. The purple hue blending to blue then back to violet again.
My fingers itch for my camera, or a paintbrush (obviously forgetting that they have never painted a decent picture). Every part of my being longing to capture the beauty that is in front of me.
I sigh. Overwhelmed by the delicate, but awe-inspiring grace of the sunset.
As the seconds tick by the sky changes, subtle but sure. The pink fades, the violet slowly disappears into the blueish black of night.
In less than 5 minutes I experienced one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen, and just like that it was gone.
Slipped away, to the other side of the world.
But, captured in my heart and memory.
The thing I keep pondering is the fact that the sunset happens every day, just like the sun rises, and the stars come out.
It is a constant.
And God made it beautiful.
Not only does He make it beautifully colorful, with light and shadows. But He makes it different every single time, no sunset is the same as any time the sun has set before it.
Every time the sun slips behind the horizon it displays a depth of creativity, and a passion for beauty.
God loves beauty. Even in things that seem not to matter.
I try to imagine this part of His nature, coupled with His power, and knowledge, His sense of justice and jealousy of anything or anyone that might take away from that.
He is strong, brave, righteous, holy, full of honor, worthy of reverence and fear, who in the old testament killed whole families for the indiscretion of one man.
He is also kind, loving, merciful, full of grace, passionate, gentle, understanding, a painter of sunsets, grower of flowers, nurturing, who loves children and cares about tiny birds.
I don't know how He fits all of that together, how all of that exists in Him, but it does.
He is.
All of that. And so much more.
Anything I try to say about Him falls so very short.

My last thought, for this post, is;
If this is the God I serve, and I believe that it is, then my only response can be total and complete surrender.
The only appropriate worship and adoration being to spend my whole life knowing Him, falling more in love with Him, and abandoning everything in order to follow Him.

be abandoned, *to God*
~noel

snow. snow. snow. snow!

Snowed in.

At first it was lovely.

Beautiful white scenery, time to rest and spend with family.
I had this this idea of getting things done that I have been putting off..........but, I only accomplished a few.
Oh well.
I have caught up on sleep, read, spent time with family, and stalked this amazing blog for hours.
Last night I caught a baking bug and made these scones;

Very easy to make, recipe here

I was quite pleased with the results. (as you can see)

No laughing. This is me; in all my natural glory hehe.
I'm trying to be more productive today, so far I've cleaned the bathrooms, hung up my clothes......I've had a thought about mopping the floors, but we'll see if I get that far :P

be free
~noel